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Friday, September 11th, 2009
2:14 pm - Recount from the past


I just want to remember those moments when life was, eventhough similarly unfathomable, yet still full of hope.

current mood: gloomy

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Sunday, February 22nd, 2009
11:31 am - This Oscar-moment of Tears


It oughta be a great watch tomorrow (it's still 21st Feb in LA, right?), but at the same time the feeling is somewhere between excited and gloom. The reason is.. you know what reason is..
It's Heath's last chance of major media attention. Because after this, he probably, or to be sure, will only get a footnote mention in a related-news about something. That's what hurt me most. Not being able to expect something from him anymore, no new movies, no red-carpet interviews, nothing...

God, I miss him desperately.


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Thursday, February 21st, 2008
11:13 am - Still In Grief
It's almost a month since Heath's death. Still couldn't shake this heartbreaking feeling off my chest. Wanted so much to undo the time, stop still, and catch him before he flies away...

current mood: depressed

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Saturday, July 14th, 2007
3:47 pm - I'm seeping into a mould
Don't know what to do with my life anymore.... I'm trying to get a job, now I got it, but it's eating on my energy, my money, my mental health...
The company doesn't pay me on minimum wage, just counting on transactions I made, so far I only had one... and that was ... CRAZY!

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Monday, October 31st, 2005
12:16 pm - I hate my Goddamm timing!!
I hate it when I planned to go out to avoid people whom I predicted visiting, then I messed it up by dallying around and ended up dealing with them just when I was about to be ready to go.. I just HATE that!!!

I hate it when aunt Tengah ask me to come with her to Medan, and my evil-self saying it's just another way to tell me: "you need to go make yourself useful instead of making a burden to your brother!"..

And I hate it looking at the babysitter looked at me as if begging me to say "yes". And Joe, and my sister-in-law being quiet at the offer as if secretly I agreed so that they would be rid of me at last!

How I wish to yelp directly at their faces, saying: " If I can only have one wish right now is really-really-really to get away from you all mother-fuckas once and for all!!"

How I wish to tell Joe how I wish to say all these things that me, Ted and Kent have all this time aching to say to him: "GIVE US OUR SHARES THEN WE LEAVE RIGHT THIS INSTANT!!!" Don't you remember who make us into this position now?
IT WAS YOU!! DAMMIT!!

YOU and your fucking arrogance squeezing mom and dad into bankruptcy! That was Y-O-U!!!!!

YOU FUCK! FUCK!!!!


God forgive me.. Im so angry, so angry....

current mood: VERY

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